I...can i just scream??!
Thursday, 5th October 2006, 9:07pmfeeling tormented – work is taking over again. i can’t start working at the new place for another week, which is well disappointing. they said that it was because my current boss hadn’t sent them a written reference, but their letter to her asked for either a verbal or a written ref…so once she had called them she didn’t think they were going to be waiting on the written version. anyway they should have chased her for it.
my current boss has also changed her script about the amount of money that i’ll be getting for helping her for 2 days/wk until xmas. she tried to say that she hadn’t said that i’d be on a similar scale to hers, but i know what she said. it’s all bollocks. i’ve promised to help for the next couple of weeks, but i think that i may just have to bow out once the pink princess returns. she came in yesterday all perky and spritey. the job of office manager is definitely a poisoned chalice, but i’ll let her find that out for herself – though she should know already as she’s seen what i’ve been thru over the last few years. she’ll have an easier time of it anyway, as they all like her manner – i guess it’s non-threatening to them.
i probably come across as an unknown quantity. one of them called me moody – indeed i’m like the weather, changeable.
life is such a struggle. i wish i could lay in bed for a long time, until
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ramble ramble
Sunday, 1st October 2006, 8:15pmHad a really nice time with Sacha; we had a long chat at a pub-restaurant in Embankment. We exchanged dubious tales of woe and had a good laff. She’s doing really well professionally, working for the BBC in production.
I arrived at Embankment early so that I could take some pics, but my plans were thwarted by the heavy rain. I took shelter in the nearby Foyles bookshop and ended up buying loads of books and postcards. I bought a lovely Van Gogh Moleskine sketchbook there but it’s almost too pretty to desecrate with my scribbles!
I’m thinking that I’m not ready to write a novel yet; I need more writing instruction and literary knowledge. A little voice inside me just says that I need to just do it – I’m never going to feel ready – and you learn by doing. It might be easier to focus on writing short stories for now, but I’m not totally convinced. Being good at writing shorts doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re going to be able to write a successful novel.
Currently Reading:
- The Dark Part of Me by Belinda Burns – a disturbing tale of obsessive love
- The Forest for the Trees: An Editor’s Advice to Writers by Betsey Lerner
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in waiting
Sunday, 1st October 2006, 10:00amHad a busy week at work. On Friday evening I met up with my oldest friend Anna at Nando’s for fried chicken and a good chat. It felt kind of forced though. I guess we are growing apart.
Yesterday I went into central London for some beauty-related appointments. I got my teeth whitened at a little salon in central London, but I’m pretty disappointed with the final results. My teeth weren’t terribly discoloured, but I wanted a clear improvement. I wanted brilliant white teeth, dammit! My front teeth are a bit lighter but not as white as I’d envisaged. The experience wasn’t as uncomfortable as I’d predicted – I was put in a massaging chair so I got a free massage at the same time. I hate having objects in my mouth so it was a bit of a nightmare, but I got through it.
I’ve always thought that my life would be fabulous by the time I was 27. However, it’s not going to happen by magic, I’ve got to make it happen. I’ve got 6 months to prepare.
I feel like one of those women on those American makeover shows (The Swan, Extreme Makeover, Jenny Jones) but I’m not going to be on TV, I just want to feel better about myself. No surgery allowed either.
I’m going to meet my friend Sacha today. She used to be a student at my workplace, but we still keep in touch. The last time we met we ended up in a lesbian club, which was a lot of fun. We just hung out, had a few drinks and chatted with a few people. It was funny though, cos I used my credit card to pay for some drinks, then minutes later my card company called me to check that I still had my card cos they had noticed some "unusual activity" on it…
Tags: teeth whitening, massage, fabulous life, makeover, lesbian surveillance, credit card spies
busy busy!
Tuesday, 26th September 2006, 8:46pmHad another busy day at work. We had a party for the new students, which was really busy. I was left to serve loads of students by myself at the beginning, but I grabbed a student to assist me. I’m resourceful, if nothing else.
Linda and Alvin quickly got tipsy, which was funny at first, but pretty tedious after a while. It’s quite boring to converse with someone who is tipsy/drunk as they think they are being really lively when really they are simply being inane. Aren’t I a boring old woman?!
I’m thinking of signing up for another online writing course to give me the impetus to get writing again. I did a couple last summer, which I really enjoyed, but I tried a Novel Writing course earlier this year and ended up quitting after a few weeks because I was overwhelmed by the demands of the course. Not only do you have to submit your assignments, you also are expected to read and critique the other students’ work, which can be quite a serious commitment too. I was also confused about my novel idea (I still am actually).
Maybe focusing on short stories will be a good move for me for now. It would be great to get a few stories published to increase my confidence before going for a novel. I think I’ll probably end up using a pseudonym or two in order to write in different genres, as I can’t choose any particular genre (as usual). Literary, crime, romance, chick-lit, adventure – my stories will encompass any of those categories. I guess I need to just do it now!
Tags: drinkers, writing course, genres
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