Walk it Out – 60s Stylee

Saturday, May 10th, 2008 | Posted in fun, music

Much better than the Teletubbies’ version. This is the best mashup ever.

(via electro^plankton)

News and Views

Sunday, April 13th, 2008 | Posted in celeb news, fun, my life

Cloud overheadThe weather’s even more bizarre than usual over here in Blighty; a week ago it was snowing, then it was rather mild all week, then this afternoon it rained heavily. I decided to go for a walk when the rain seemed to be dying down, but a few minutes later I found myself in the middle of a hailstorm, and became unreasonably worried that one of those huge mutant hailstones would fall on my head and knock me out. Luckily it eased after another couple of minutes.

Carla BruniFrance’s First Lady, Carla Bruni, is apparently upset about the reappearance of some nude pics she modelled for during her modelling career. I don’t think she should be embarrassed at all; what’s done is done, and she looks amazing. Sure, it’s probably not totally appropriate for her current position as Mrs Sarkozy, but you have to own your actions, and posing nude, like having a tattoo, is something you may have to live with for the rest of your life.

Benefits Supervisor Sleeping, by Lucien Freud

I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but if I were the subject of the Lucien Freud’s painting, Benefits Supervisor Sleeping, 1995, I would not be proud at all, never mind that it’s expected to become the most expensive picture by a living artist ever sold. Actually the subject doesn’t look half as bad in reality as he made her look in the painting, but I guess that’s art for you.

Shakira

There’s a rumour going around that Shakira was involved in a ménage à trois on a yacht with her boyfriend Antonio de la Rúa and singer Alejandro Sanz, which was captured on videotape… Shakira denies the whole thing, but if it were true I’d be very proud of her. Hetero men are always going on about their fantasy of having a threesome with a couple of women, basically because they love the idea of being able to satisfy two women at once, and that both women would lavish their attention on them. The thought of sharing a woman with another bloke repels them not just due to the possible bisexual connotations, but because of the competition factor. If Shakira was able to convince two apparently hetero guys to service her every wish, and then record it for posterity, then all power to her!

Naomi Campbell Naomi Campbell

After being banned by British Airways and arrested for acting like a complete knob, Naomi Campbell insists that she was mistreated because she’s black. No darling, you were punished for disrupting a flight, spitting on a cop and abusing crew members. You weren’t the only one to have been inconvenienced by the chaos at Heathrow Terminal 5, but I’m pretty sure that you’re the only one who made such a complete fool of yourself. Unlike most people whose suitcases went missing during the chaos, you can afford to replace every single item without a problem. The chances are that your suitcase will turn up eventually, but in any case there’s no excuse for attacking people in the way that you did. You need to sort out that anger of yours before you kill someone else or yourself.

For Sale Sign

It looks like I might be staying with my parents for a while longer. The Bank of England cut interests rates by a quarter this week, but in reality it’s not going to mean much to those with mortgages as the global banking crisis and the threat of recession continue to hold our banks by the balls. Banks are becoming much stricter on people applying for mortgages, so you’d be hard-pressed to find a 100% mortgage anywhere now, and a sizeable deposit is also necessary for any chance of getting finance for a home. It does look like house prices are starting to decrease now, though it was inevitable really as first-time buyers were being priced out of the market. While the average salary in London is £25,000-35,000, the average home is about ten times higher, making it impossible for the average person to afford their own home.

Aria Giovanni

The electric guitar I won arrived a couple of days ago, but we’re not hitting it off totally. I think it needs new strings but I’m not bothered enough to even replace them. I wouldn’t mind having a nice electro-acoustic number, but I don’t think this one is really me. It was fun to try it out though, and even my dad had a go with it earlier. I’ll probably put it on ebay in a few days, or if you’d like an electric guitar with all the fixings (apart from an amp) and you’re in the UK (preferably), feel free to contact me.

Inner Beauty

Tuesday, April 1st, 2008 | Posted in celeb news, fun

Mariah Carey

My favourite singer, Mariah Carey, arrived at Mayfair at 2.30am this morning and greeted a large crowd of adoring fans.

The eccentric diva was wearing just a black bin liner under her jacket, and clutched a copy of the Big Issue magazine, which she’d purchased from a homeless man outside Selfridges.

Bin Liner Dress

When asked about her unusual outfit, she told reporters:

“Looks aren’t important, it’s what’s inside that counts. My job is to sing, not to be a sex object. The music business is so superficial, and I’m using my position to take a stand against it.”

Good on ya, girl! :twisted:

Festive Spirit

Friday, December 28th, 2007 | Posted in reading, Uncategorized

Last Sunday I went to visit my grandma who lives in East London.

As I left my home that afternoon I discovered the thick mist which had descended over the city and lasted all day. (People from other countries seem to think that London is always foggy, but it’s quite rare really, and mostly happens on the odd winter morning.) Anyway, I felt like I might have entered the Victorian London of the novel that I’m currently reading, The Meaning of Night by Michael Cox.

the meaning of night

On the train into central London I noticed that some (presumably) young vandal had written “BELIEVE SANTA EXISTS” plus something about BSE (mad cow disease) on a window opposite me. I felt compelled to take a pic of it with my camera-phone.

santa graffiti

What a lovely sentiment, spreading the joy of Christmas to children everywhere. It’s just a shame that the perpetrator felt the need to damage public property to convey the message…

After visiting my grandma and making my journey homewards, I alighted from the train and left my home station. It was about 6pm, and there were plenty of people around. As I passed a nearby supermarket I heard a loud and unusual sawing noise. I looked towards the source of the sound and realised that it was being caused by a young man sawing through a bicycle chain outside the store, with a couple of mates assisting in the operation. One of them looked at me. I looked away and continued home.

bike thief

Now I realise I should have gone into the supermarket and told a security guard about the situation, but at the time I wasn’t thinking in that way. I just wanted to go home. Someone who would be bold enough to steal a bike so blatantly might have been prepared to turn violent. I just hope they got caught before they rode off. No thanks to me though.

Is there any point in continuing?

Sunday, November 25th, 2007 | Posted in movies

I decided to pass the time by watching Planet of the Apes (the Marky Mark remake), but about an hour in I was interrupted by a phonecall. Now I can’t bring myself to continue watching. Does it get better later? Marky Mark is nice to watch, so I may still try to carry on for his sake. I find myself being irritated by Helena Bonham Carter’s character, though I can’t explain why. When I saw Kris Kristofferson with his unkempt locks I immediately thought of him as Whistler in Blade… (wasn’t he a country singer back in the day? Kris, not Whistler – though that’d be a cool name for a country singer…).

I should probably go to bed. Or eat some porridge (AKA oatmeal). I’ve been feeling very unsettled today. I woke up early (10:30am) then went back to bed for a few hours at 2pm, then I went to Croydon. Then I came home.

More thoughts in the morning.