American Boy

Monday, January 26th, 2009 | Posted in my life

Video: American Boy by Estelle feat. Kanye West

My gay friend Miguel and I have been frequenting a particular restaurant for at least a year now, because it’s close to my workplace and his home, and because they serve good food at cheap prices. The woman who runs the place is also very nice when we see her. For a while last year they were using a waitress who was quite unfriendly and seemed to hate her job. Then one day Miguel and I entered the restaurant and saw a really cute guy behind the counter.
“Hi,” he greeted us in an American accent. “Have a seat.”
Miguel and I grinned at each other. It was a very enjoyable meal.

A couple of weeks later I visited the restaurant for a lunch takeaway. I’d forgotten all about the nice waiter, but as I entered he greeted me and said that my friend had been back there about 4 or 5 times since he’d last seen me. I was quite surprised that the guy even remembered me, and bemused that Miguel had been back so often…

So that night I called Miguel to get the gossip, and he was quite non-committal about it. After some prodding he muttered something about the guy asking him if he was my boyfriend. He answered that we were just friends. That was all I could get out of him about it, I guess he was feeling rejected.

So I would continue to go there maybe once or twice a week for lunch, sometimes with Miguel, sometimes alone. He was always polite and friendly, but I also had the feeling that there was more to it. I overheard the bosslady calling him Ricky*, which was handy. I started to develop a crush on him, but for me a crush is like a fire which needs kindling to prevent it burning out. As his interest in me didn’t move beyond a certain level after a while I told myself that perhaps I was misinterpreting his friendliness.

I had a couple of weeks away from work over the Christmas period. Then on 2 January I stopped at the restaurant on the way to Miguel’s house to get us both some food. He commented that he’d never seen me at night before, and seemed pleased to see me. I got the final confirmation that he was straight when I heard him telling someone about how he’d rebuffed a gay guy who was flirting with him.

So then about two weeks ago I went there alone for lunch and he grinned at me. “So, you’re into computing I hear?”
“Yes, how did you know that?” Of course I knew that Miguel must have told him. Apparently he and Miguel had discussed my day job and my part-time activities the night before. So then he asked me all of these questions about my internet work, and I ended up giving him the url of one of them to check out (not this one, of course).

The next day at work I checked my personal email inbox and found a strange email which I initially thought was spam. When I read it properly I realised it was from Ricky. He’d sent me loads of tips on how to promote my website, but he was apparently drunk when he sent it. When I went back there for lunch he said that he’d wondered if I would ever return there after seeing that email.

That night while I was online he sent me another email about my site. I replied straight away and we got into a conversation via email. While it was mostly focused on my site promotion, I also asked him about himself and found out some facts about his life in America. The next day, he indicated in an email that he was surprised about what he’d revealed to me (as was I actually). We exchanged a couple more brief emails later on in the week, but no major revelations or declarations of feeling occurred.

Then last week he saw me all dolled-up with makeup, etc. as I was in the middle of organising my colleague’s leaving party that evening and needed a snack to keep me going, and some food for Miguel too. Ricky seemed impressed by my sexy evening look, which was flattering. Miguel later remarked that the portion we’d received was a lot more than usual, and suggested that Ricky was giving me special treatment. He made the same comment again last Tuesday when we weren’t charged for our drinks.

At this point I’m not sure what to do or think about this guy. Is he just being friendly, or does he want more? My low self-esteem tells me that he’s not into me romantically (what could he possibly see in me?), but there’s a part of me that hopes that he is. I haven’t dated in such a long time, I’m probably doing all the wrong things anyway.

Update (lunchtime 26 Jan 09) – Just had lunch there again. He’s changed his hair and looked really cute. He was friendly as usual, but I can’t tell his intentions. I’m so confused, feeling like such a girl. Damn.

Inside Out

Sunday, November 23rd, 2008 | Posted in design, fun, movies

I really enjoyed this short film about a guy who agrees to wear a mood monitor on his chest and be followed by a camera crew all day. He is happy to do this in order to get on TV, but he ends up revealing more about himself than he’d planned. I particularly loved the moment when he comes across something that he’d meant to hide, and his monitor instantly turns red. The end was quite beautiful too.

While I was watching I wondered how it would be if we all wore one of those devices, if our moods and feelings were open for everyone else to see. Would it make life simpler, or more difficult?

Film by Eric Lerner. Music by Sigur Ros. (via Fubiz)


Friday, September 12th, 2008 | Posted in Uncategorized

Kinky Online Personal Ads by Ellen ForneyWhen I read a newspaper I’ll often read the “Lonely Hearts” or Personal Ads column, not because I’m planning to answer an advert, but because they are quite a fun read. It’s interesting to note how specific or non-specific the descriptions are; whilst some of the advertisers are open to any possibility, others are quite clear about the size, race, interests and temperament of their imagined soulmate. It’s also intriguing that the internet dating scene hasn’t made this concept obsolete.

A fun game to play is to match up pairs of compatible ads. For instance, the attractive, young-at-heart 60 year old woman who is looking for a caring man aged 58-65, has several matches in the male ads. She doesn’t mention her size, so I’m going to eliminate Richard (59) who has requested a slim woman. I’ve got a few other possible options, but I like the sound of the “Outgoing widower, 62, likes walks, nights in, GSOH, seeks caring female for friendship/relationship.”

I bet that this guy has received loads of responses:

Short, fat, thick, spotty, ugly, unemployed single dad, early 40′s, good for nothing, seeks slim, busty, rich bird to cheat on.

And his match? Possibly the “Busty, blue eyed blonde, seeking special man who can show her a good time and make her smile again.”

And just to prove that there’s someone for everyone:

Hirsute female, no make up, any age or nationality, sought by French male, 48, educated, unconventional, for relationship.

If I were to write one of these ads I’d probably say: “Urban Recluse seeks a kind companion with a GSOH for fun and adventure.” I think that says it all, don’t you? What kind of ad would you write?

Image Source

Music IQ

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 | Posted in fun, music

I just happened upon a Music Intelligence Quiz via Chris’s blog, and decided to have a crack at it though I’ve never claimed to be a musical genius.

Your final score was 108/180

Birthday Party DJ (73-108 points)
You are a rabid consumer of music. You get a rush every time you hear something new but remain faithful to those artists you love. Your music collection represents who you are and what you care about and your home may even bear the tell-tale signs of your affections – posters, old band t-shirts and the odd music biography. But you aren’t a completist, you know what you like and make sure you have it. Simple as that. To expand your repertoire, perhaps there are some genres that you’d benefit from giving a little more attention to – perhaps now is the time to hear something new or get hold of that missing album from your collection.

And while we’re on the subject of intelligence, I heard about this dating site for intelligent people and had a go at the entry exam. Unfortunately when I saw the format of the exam I knew I wasn’t going to pass. I’m awful at those “complete the pattern” questions with triangles and squares and circles, and being given a minute to solve each one didn’t help. Luckily, there’s more than one kind of intelligence, and more than one way to meet your soulmate.

IQ test

Adventures in Camden Town

Saturday, April 5th, 2008 | Posted in my life

I can’t believe that it’s taken me nearly a week to write about my meeting with the saxy sailor. My only excuse is that I’m mentally exhausted right now. I can’t focus on anything for long.

Pop eyeAnyway I met G at Euston Station, and we went into a nearby cafe for a cup of tea. I don’t know what I was expecting, honestly, but he was just like he’d described himself. I hate these blind date kind of meetings, where you’re waiting at the designated meeting place, looking at any guy who could possibly be that person and wondering if it’s going to be the guy with the walking stick who’s limping and looks about 70…

Luckily it wasn’t the septuagenarian who greeted me. I was very nervous at first, almost as skittish as when that male stripper said hello to me after the show… But after a cup of tea I felt a bit more like myself.

From Euston we walked to Camden Town, and walked around the market and the assorted shops in that area. I love going to Camden Town as it’s just such a cool area. G fitted in perfectly there; a little boy even stopped him and told him that his North Face cap was “sick” and asked him where he’d got it from. (He said that he’d picked it up in Norway.)

I didn’t buy anything in Camden – I’d wanted to visit the African drum shop where I’d bought my djembe a few years ago, but it wasn’t there anymore. I’m not sure if it’s been relocated due to the fire that raged in that area several months ago. G bought himself a gangster-style Capello hat after haggling with the shop guy.

After a few hours, I was starving so we stopped at a Chinese buffet restaurant for dinner. He’s a vegetarian, and unfortunately there wasn’t much that he liked from their selection, so I felt a little bit guilty for having 2 plates of food, even if it was lousy food.

After that we walked back to Euston (it was starting to rain a little) and went back to the cafe in the station for a chat before setting off home. It was a nice day, and he was great company.

Overall, I’m still kind of confused about things with G. He’s a lovely guy, and I like him a lot, but I’m not sure whether I could have a relationship with him. The main issue is the age gap – he’s 26 years older than me. It doesn’t seem to bother him at all, and he still thinks that he’s in love with me. In an ideal world it might not matter, but in spite of myself I was thinking about what my family and my friends would say about me being with a guy so much older than me.

Pop eyeG is a guy who does what he wants to do. He’s done a lot and has seen a lot, and he doesn’t have any close ties to anyone who might want to talk him out of what he wants to do. I feel like I’m in the opposite situation, as long as I’m living here I’m not free to do what I want, when I want.

I’ve told G that I think that he’ll teach me a lot about life, but now I’m just wondering where those life lessons may lead me.