News and Views

Sunday, April 13th, 2008 | Posted in celeb news, fun, my life

Cloud overheadThe weather’s even more bizarre than usual over here in Blighty; a week ago it was snowing, then it was rather mild all week, then this afternoon it rained heavily. I decided to go for a walk when the rain seemed to be dying down, but a few minutes later I found myself in the middle of a hailstorm, and became unreasonably worried that one of those huge mutant hailstones would fall on my head and knock me out. Luckily it eased after another couple of minutes.

Carla BruniFrance’s First Lady, Carla Bruni, is apparently upset about the reappearance of some nude pics she modelled for during her modelling career. I don’t think she should be embarrassed at all; what’s done is done, and she looks amazing. Sure, it’s probably not totally appropriate for her current position as Mrs Sarkozy, but you have to own your actions, and posing nude, like having a tattoo, is something you may have to live with for the rest of your life.

Benefits Supervisor Sleeping, by Lucien Freud

I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but if I were the subject of the Lucien Freud’s painting, Benefits Supervisor Sleeping, 1995, I would not be proud at all, never mind that it’s expected to become the most expensive picture by a living artist ever sold. Actually the subject doesn’t look half as bad in reality as he made her look in the painting, but I guess that’s art for you.

Shakira

There’s a rumour going around that Shakira was involved in a ménage à trois on a yacht with her boyfriend Antonio de la Rúa and singer Alejandro Sanz, which was captured on videotape… Shakira denies the whole thing, but if it were true I’d be very proud of her. Hetero men are always going on about their fantasy of having a threesome with a couple of women, basically because they love the idea of being able to satisfy two women at once, and that both women would lavish their attention on them. The thought of sharing a woman with another bloke repels them not just due to the possible bisexual connotations, but because of the competition factor. If Shakira was able to convince two apparently hetero guys to service her every wish, and then record it for posterity, then all power to her!

Naomi Campbell Naomi Campbell

After being banned by British Airways and arrested for acting like a complete knob, Naomi Campbell insists that she was mistreated because she’s black. No darling, you were punished for disrupting a flight, spitting on a cop and abusing crew members. You weren’t the only one to have been inconvenienced by the chaos at Heathrow Terminal 5, but I’m pretty sure that you’re the only one who made such a complete fool of yourself. Unlike most people whose suitcases went missing during the chaos, you can afford to replace every single item without a problem. The chances are that your suitcase will turn up eventually, but in any case there’s no excuse for attacking people in the way that you did. You need to sort out that anger of yours before you kill someone else or yourself.

For Sale Sign

It looks like I might be staying with my parents for a while longer. The Bank of England cut interests rates by a quarter this week, but in reality it’s not going to mean much to those with mortgages as the global banking crisis and the threat of recession continue to hold our banks by the balls. Banks are becoming much stricter on people applying for mortgages, so you’d be hard-pressed to find a 100% mortgage anywhere now, and a sizeable deposit is also necessary for any chance of getting finance for a home. It does look like house prices are starting to decrease now, though it was inevitable really as first-time buyers were being priced out of the market. While the average salary in London is £25,000-35,000, the average home is about ten times higher, making it impossible for the average person to afford their own home.

Aria Giovanni

The electric guitar I won arrived a couple of days ago, but we’re not hitting it off totally. I think it needs new strings but I’m not bothered enough to even replace them. I wouldn’t mind having a nice electro-acoustic number, but I don’t think this one is really me. It was fun to try it out though, and even my dad had a go with it earlier. I’ll probably put it on ebay in a few days, or if you’d like an electric guitar with all the fixings (apart from an amp) and you’re in the UK (preferably), feel free to contact me.

Adventures in Camden Town

Saturday, April 5th, 2008 | Posted in my life

I can’t believe that it’s taken me nearly a week to write about my meeting with the saxy sailor. My only excuse is that I’m mentally exhausted right now. I can’t focus on anything for long.

Pop eyeAnyway I met G at Euston Station, and we went into a nearby cafe for a cup of tea. I don’t know what I was expecting, honestly, but he was just like he’d described himself. I hate these blind date kind of meetings, where you’re waiting at the designated meeting place, looking at any guy who could possibly be that person and wondering if it’s going to be the guy with the walking stick who’s limping and looks about 70…

Luckily it wasn’t the septuagenarian who greeted me. I was very nervous at first, almost as skittish as when that male stripper said hello to me after the show… But after a cup of tea I felt a bit more like myself.

From Euston we walked to Camden Town, and walked around the market and the assorted shops in that area. I love going to Camden Town as it’s just such a cool area. G fitted in perfectly there; a little boy even stopped him and told him that his North Face cap was “sick” and asked him where he’d got it from. (He said that he’d picked it up in Norway.)

I didn’t buy anything in Camden – I’d wanted to visit the African drum shop where I’d bought my djembe a few years ago, but it wasn’t there anymore. I’m not sure if it’s been relocated due to the fire that raged in that area several months ago. G bought himself a gangster-style Capello hat after haggling with the shop guy.

After a few hours, I was starving so we stopped at a Chinese buffet restaurant for dinner. He’s a vegetarian, and unfortunately there wasn’t much that he liked from their selection, so I felt a little bit guilty for having 2 plates of food, even if it was lousy food.

After that we walked back to Euston (it was starting to rain a little) and went back to the cafe in the station for a chat before setting off home. It was a nice day, and he was great company.

Overall, I’m still kind of confused about things with G. He’s a lovely guy, and I like him a lot, but I’m not sure whether I could have a relationship with him. The main issue is the age gap – he’s 26 years older than me. It doesn’t seem to bother him at all, and he still thinks that he’s in love with me. In an ideal world it might not matter, but in spite of myself I was thinking about what my family and my friends would say about me being with a guy so much older than me.

Pop eyeG is a guy who does what he wants to do. He’s done a lot and has seen a lot, and he doesn’t have any close ties to anyone who might want to talk him out of what he wants to do. I feel like I’m in the opposite situation, as long as I’m living here I’m not free to do what I want, when I want.

I’ve told G that I think that he’ll teach me a lot about life, but now I’m just wondering where those life lessons may lead me.

Like Zorro: Bad Sex in Fiction

Thursday, November 29th, 2007 | Posted in reading

bad sex sign

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS VERY BAD DESCRIPTIONS OF SEX. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN PERIL.

Fifteen years ago the Literary Review Bad Sex in Fiction Award was born. Its aim: “to draw attention to the crude, tasteless, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel, and to discourage it.”

At the very least, this award shows how difficult it can be to write a decent sex scene. In the writers’ defence, I must say that I’ve just finished a book which was nominated for this award last year, A Spot of Bother by Mark Haddon. When reading the selected scene in context, it fit perfectly with the overall tone of the writing and characterization. When taken in isolation though, it was ridiculous. (more…)

She might just pull it off…

Monday, September 24th, 2007 | Posted in Eye Candy

Billie Piper is Belle De Jour in The Secret Diary of a Call Girl. Starting Thursday at 10pm on ITV2.

If life is a dance…

Thursday, August 16th, 2007 | Posted in Eye Candy, music

…Let’s tango.

Scene from Nip/Tuck. Soundtrack: Whatever Lola Wants by the Gotan Project