New Moon

Sunday, November 22nd, 2009 | Posted in movies

It’s been impossible not to know that New Moon was going to be released last Friday. As well as the usual ads on the TV and on the sides of buses, we also had themed magazine editions with free pull out posters, re-released tie-in versions of the books and other shameless promotions that I can’t remember at this moment.

Since the Harry Potter franchise is coming to an end, it’s lucky for us all that another series of novels has captured the hearts (and purses) of numerous young girls (and plenty of women too).

I’ve read Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse, and will probably read the fourth one out of curiosity at some point. I saw the Twilight movie last year and didn’t think much of it, but it was basically watchable. I decided to see New Moon because I was curious about whether they could turn that depressing book into a halfway decent film.

My local cinema had 2 screenings of the movie at 4pm in different screens, and luckily most of the girls who’d come straight from school in their uniform seemed to have been allocated to the other screen. My screen seemed to have a good mixture of teens, guys in their late teens/early 20s, a few mums with their daughters, and couples on dates…

On balance, I’d probably say that New Moon was slightly better than Twilight, but only because there was less Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) and more shirtless, meaty Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner). Plus if you manage to stay awake until the end, you’ll be treated to a delightful yet all-too-brief scene featuring Michael Sheen and Dakota Fanning.

I don’t want to spoil the plot too much (if that’s possible), but it stayed quite close to the novel. After a troubling incident, Edward dumps Bella. She falls into a deep depression for months and months, until she starts to spend time with Jacob. She also starts a disturbing habit of engaging in risky behaviour (riding motorbikes, jumping off cliffs) after she experiences hallucinations of Edward warning her not to risk her life during those stupid moments.

Then we discover that Jacob has become a werewolf, which sucks for Bella since his entire focus is not on her any more. Luckily, these werewolves only kill vampires, and they wear magic shorts which don’t require disrobing before the metamorphosis. But who cares about magic shorts when we can focus on Taylor Lautner’s torso?

Even though the guy must be at least 10 years younger than me, I still couldn’t stop myself grinning everytime I saw him shortless shirtless, and it was clear that plenty of girls watching alongside me were loving the view too. It was a great distraction from the dodgy plot, dialogue and pacing.

The only problem with all that meatiness on show, was that when Edward appeared again at the end of the movie, he seemed especially pale, gaunt and lifeless in comparison.

There were several cheesy moments in the movie, but the cheesiest for me was when we saw Alice’s vision of Bella as a vampire in the future. I couldn’t help giggling as I watched her running in slow-mo through a forest in a floral dress alongside Edward.

However, I enjoyed the musical background, which complimented the emotional scenes. I also liked those high wide shots, which gave a sense of scale to the forests in which much of the movie was set. Though the wolves looked quite unrealistic to me, I did like the scene where they were chasing Victoria, a redhead vampire who wanted Bella dead, through the forests. I also liked Charlie, Bella’s dad, who always comes across in a believable way. The fight scenes weren’t too bad either.

Overall though, my advice would be to give this one a miss.

Urban Recluse Rating: ★★½☆☆

Further Reading:

For a much snarkier review of New Moon, check out Dustin’s hilarious review on Pajiba.

Also check out SamuraiFrog’s weekly summaries of Twilight (the first novel).

Dirty Dancing

Sunday, August 2nd, 2009 | Posted in Eye Candy, fun

<a href="http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-US&#038;from=sp&#038;vid=304364f2-e037-48b6-9ffe-8f67ad6539b1" target="_new" title="Channing Tatum and Charlyne Yi Cinemash "Dirty Dancing"">Video: Channing Tatum and Charlyne Yi Cinemash &#8220;Dirty Dancing&#8221;</a>

Loving this parody of a scene from Dirty Dancing featuring Channing Tatum and Charlyne Yi. Yi is clearly no actress, but Tatum’s cheesy interpretation of Johnny Castle is totally adorable. Who hasn’t ‘balanced on sh*t’ at one time or another?

Hungry Eyes

Sunday, June 28th, 2009 | Posted in fun

There’s no doubt that Kirsten Stewart is a gorgeous young woman, but there’s definitely something of the night about her too. It’s kind of funny that she’s playing the mortal next to a pack of vampires as she looks more bloodthirsty than the rest of them put together.

Maybe she’s just perpetually hungry; a Hollywood diet would do that to anyone.

The other day I was watching Jumper and recognised her in a brief scene near the end when Anakin Skywalker found his mother. She was skulking around the place for no particular reason, and gave him this wolfish look like she wanted to make a bracelet with his fingertips.

Anyway, talking about dangerous damsels and feckless villains, I had to laugh at this video of Buffy vs Edward Cullen. Could there be any doubt over who would win that battle? Never mind Buffy, Angel would make mincemeal of that glittery softie for embarrassing the entire vampire race.

LOVingFiLM

Wednesday, April 15th, 2009 | Posted in movies

Finally a list of films that I can engage with: LoveFilm’s 101 Most Rented

It’s an interesting list, as it features many films that people actually choose to see, the usual list of films recommended by the critics. There are some very good films on the list, alongside some dodgy ones (Music & Lyrics, PS I Love You).

I’ve seen 72 so far, which I’ve marked in bold. I’ve starred the remaining ones that I’d like to see (most of which are in my rental queue already). How many of them have you seen?

  1. The Last King Of Scotland
  2. Little Miss Sunshine
  3. Atonement
  4. Casino Royale [2006]
  5. Deja Vu*
  6. The Pursuit Of Happyness* (caught the end at a friend’s house, but that doesn’t count)
  7. The Departed
  8. Hot Fuzz
  9. Blood Diamond
  10. American Gangster
  11. Children Of Men
  12. Crash [2005]
  13. The Bourne Ultimatum
  14. The Devil Wears Prada
  15. Run, Fat Boy, Run
  16. The Constant Gardener
  17. The Holiday
  18. The Queen*
  19. Die Hard 4.0
  20. Walk The Line
  21. Knocked Up
  22. Inside Man
  23. Million Dollar Baby
  24. I Am Legend
  25. The Prestige
  26. Pan’s Labyrinth
  27. Stardust
  28. The Da Vinci Code
  29. The Island
  30. Hotel Rwanda*
  31. Brokeback Mountain
  32. Borat
  33. Batman Begins
  34. Next
  35. No Country For Old Men* (saw bits of it last Christmas)
  36. Night At The Museum
  37. Mr. And Mrs. Smith (2005)
  38. Michael Clayton
  39. Notes On A Scandal
  40. Finding Neverland*
  41. Babel* (I have it but haven’t felt in the mood for it yet)
  42. The Illusionist
  43. Memoirs Of A Geisha
  44. The Bourne Supremacy
  45. Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World’s End
  46. Wedding Crashers
  47. Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
  48. Ratatouille
  49. Lucky Number Slevin
  50. The Golden Compass
  51. A History Of Violence
  52. National Treasure
  53. Apocalypto
  54. Miss Potter
  55. Ocean’s Thirteen
  56. Syriana*
  57. The Lives Of Others
  58. Sin City
  59. Stranger Than Fiction*
  60. Transformers
  61. The Interpreter
  62. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
  63. The Aviator
  64. Spider-Man 3
  65. Mission: Impossible 3
  66. Wallace And Gromit: The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit*
  67. Munich
  68. Flight Plan*
  69. Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe*
  70. War Of The Worlds [2005]
  71. Hitch
  72. 300
  73. Collateral
  74. The Kingdom*
  75. 28 Weeks Later*
  76. V For Vendetta
  77. Cloverfield
  78. Shooter*
  79. Closer
  80. Man On Fire*
  81. This Is England
  82. The Good Shepherd [2006]
  83. Shrek The Third
  84. The History Boys
  85. The BreakUp
  86. Meet The Fockers
  87. Ocean’s Twelve
  88. King Kong [2005]
  89. Layer Cake
  90. P.S. I Love You
  91. The Terminal*
  92. Superman Returns
  93. Music And Lyrics (only because it was the only film shown on a flight I was on)
  94. The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford*
  95. The Simpsons Movie*
  96. The Incredibles
  97. Volver*
  98. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street*
  99. Fracture*
  100. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory [2005]*
  101. Iron Man

Still around

Sunday, March 15th, 2009 | Posted in my life

I can’t believe it’s been more than 3 weeks since my last post, but I hope that the video of the dancing bloke has kept you all amused.

I’ve been having a really hard time at work, and I’ve been quite exhausted. I have had some fun here and there too, which I’ll probably catch you up on soon.

So how are you doing?

Here’s a short film by The Purchase Brothers, which apparently cost only $500 to make. Someone out there needs to give them a million bucks to finish it off. (via) I would if I could.