UPDATE: This appears to have been a hoax, and the News of the World have now removed the article from their site. I am sorry if this blog post caused any upset to Larissa.

According to an article in today’s News of the World, Larissa Summers, the naughtiest contestant in Dirty Cows, was born a male. I didn’t realise until I saw Paul’s comment, and then got the newspaper to read it for myself.

Anyway, I’m 100% woman, and I’d love to look half as sexy as Larissa.

So here we are, at the end of our journey into the farmyard adventure. Which girl will win the affections of lechy Alexy? Claire, Keeley or Larissa? (more…)

Just a quick summary of the last two episodes of Dirty Cows before next week’s finale.

Last week’s episode centred around cow milking. Unfortunately where there are cows you’ll also find loads of manure… (more…)

Just wanted to comment on a couple of moments from tonight’s episode; it was quite a funny one.

Danielle didn’t seem to know the difference between a lemon and a melon, so let’s clear up this confusion for her.

<< MELON | LEMON>>

Despite the relative sizes of the fruit in the pics, please note that a melon (left pic) is usually much larger than a lemon. You were shooting at melons, as lemons wouldn’t be so easy to aim at.

Someone else mentioned that a pigeon is like a bird. This revelation might shock you, but I must inform you that pigeons are actually a kind of bird. They have wings and everything, and they’re not bats. (Some people may refer to them as “flying rats” but they are actually part of the same family as doves.)

Meanwhile, Larissa’s desperation seems to know no bounds. In this episode she deep-throats a banana to demonstrate her worth as a girlfriend…

Then she gave Alexy a quick massage when asked why he should take her out for a date (again). He took the bait and appeared to be getting very close to her in the hot tub… He looked like the cat who got the cream while he was in there with the other girls too, enjoying underwater footsie, hand-holding, and backside caresses. It’s all getting rather indecent at the farm.

Chantelle was sent home at the end, for not playing along with the challenges. I can’t blame her really, I wouldn’t want to skin a rabbit or pluck a pigeon for dinner… She was a real character, I don’t think the show will be quite the same without her pouting.

I don’t know who is going to be the winner of Dirty Cows, but according to this article, the hostess has kept the meal to herself. Yep, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson and Alexy Van Kimmenade are dating, and were getting close even during the filming of the show!

I had a feeling that there was some chemistry between them, and the very perceptive Salty predicted it in a recent comment, but I wouldn’t have expected them to get together so soon…

It’s Mr Right all over again! Though let’s hope it doesn’t have the same ending.

I’ll still watch the show for its bitchiness and entertainment value, but I don’t think I’ll bother with the blow-by-blow reviews, unless anyone really wants me to continue.

Disclaimer: my lawyers have asked me to confirm that Alexy, Tara and Living TV all deny that T&A are dating…