Sorry to leave you in suspense after my last post about my job situation. I actually did resign from my job a month ago, but I’ve struggled to write about it, presumably because I’m feeling so mixed up about it.

I did it at the end of one of my weekly meetings with my manager. She seemed glad on my behalf, but I wasn’t sure if she was just glad to see the back of me. She also asked me not to discuss it with anyone at work as she was planning to implement several big changes in our department and she didn’t want my leaving to distract from those issues.

So no one knew about it for a couple of weeks, until the director mentioned it to one of my colleagues. Then I was able to tell my co-workers, but I only told a couple of the counsellors, the ones that I was friendlier with. So it’s been really strange, having this big secret which has only been shared with a few people at a time at every stage.

About a week ago, my colleague sent around a memo about my leaving, so now everyone knows. Everyday last week I had counsellors telling me how sad they were to hear that I was leaving, and asking about my plans for the future. They’ve all been really sweet, and it was nice to know that my hard work has been appreciated there, even if my relationship with management hasn’t been great.

Although the plan had been to leave by the end of December, I’ve ended up offering to stay until the 3rd week of January as they owe me so much overtime that I’d have to leave tomorrow if I took it all this month. The benefit for me is having another month’s pay, and they get my knowledge and experience for another month. My post has already been advertised on Gumtree, and had 50+ responses before I left there a few hours after the ad went live, so they may even find a replacement before I leave.

I still haven’t told my parents about my decision to leave. My initial reason for delaying was that I wanted to have a clear plan of action before I told them. I still haven’t sorted my plans out, and I know my mum will panic if I tell her this without something else up my sleeve. And then I’ll feel even more anxious with that added pressure. I’ll have to tell her soon though.

I feel like I’ve made the right decision. It feels right to leave, but I’m worried about what I’m going to do next. Should I travel? Should I study? What would I study? Should I look for another job?

The only thing that I’m considering is to carry on with the website stuff, and try to make some money that way. It’s not an easy option, and there are no guarantees (but nothing in life is guaranteed anyway). I guess if things get difficult, I could do some office work/temping, but I’m reluctant to go straight back into that field. I’ve been looking for work online and in the newspapers, but nothing really jumped out at me.

I would like to travel abroad for a few weeks. I’ve been thinking about going to Senegal to have some African drumming lessons with my old teacher, but I’m not sure how safe it would be for me to be out there as a solo female, so more investigation is needed.

Written by PJ | Posted in my life

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