Last Sunday I went to visit my grandma who lives in East London.

As I left my home that afternoon I discovered the thick mist which had descended over the city and lasted all day. (People from other countries seem to think that London is always foggy, but it’s quite rare really, and mostly happens on the odd winter morning.) Anyway, I felt like I might have entered the Victorian London of the novel that I’m currently reading, The Meaning of Night by Michael Cox.

On the train into central London I noticed that some (presumably) young vandal had written “BELIEVE SANTA EXISTS” plus something about BSE (mad cow disease) on a window opposite me. I felt compelled to take a pic of it with my camera-phone.

What a lovely sentiment, spreading the joy of Christmas to children everywhere. It’s just a shame that the perpetrator felt the need to damage public property to convey the message…

After visiting my grandma and making my journey homewards, I alighted from the train and left my home station. It was about 6pm, and there were plenty of people around. As I passed a nearby supermarket I heard a loud and unusual sawing noise. I looked towards the source of the sound and realised that it was being caused by a young man sawing through a bicycle chain outside the store, with a couple of mates assisting in the operation. One of them looked at me. I looked away and continued home.

Now I realise I should have gone into the supermarket and told a security guard about the situation, but at the time I wasn’t thinking in that way. I just wanted to go home. Someone who would be bold enough to steal a bike so blatantly might have been prepared to turn violent. I just hope they got caught before they rode off. No thanks to me though.

Prude holds library sex-ed books hostage

How to survive in prison

And tips for becoming gorgeous (my personal favourite is #11)

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Here’s one of my favourite vids (Around the World by Daft Punk). Just cos I wanna.

I don’t know who is going to be the winner of Dirty Cows, but according to this article, the hostess has kept the meal to herself. Yep, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson and Alexy Van Kimmenade are dating, and were getting close even during the filming of the show!

I had a feeling that there was some chemistry between them, and the very perceptive Salty predicted it in a recent comment, but I wouldn’t have expected them to get together so soon…

It’s Mr Right all over again! Though let’s hope it doesn’t have the same ending.

I’ll still watch the show for its bitchiness and entertainment value, but I don’t think I’ll bother with the blow-by-blow reviews, unless anyone really wants me to continue.

Disclaimer: my lawyers have asked me to confirm that Alexy, Tara and Living TV all deny that T&A are dating…

My cousin Freddy is currently enjoying a two week break in Jamaica. He’s staying at the same hotel where I stayed in May. My friend who works at the hotel mentioned that he’d had a chat with my cousin and his girlfriend.

Later on I had the following conversation with my mum: (more…)

I know he’s a pretty boy but still…

Splotchy and Frank Simarco have been having fun plundering the 80s for camp videos.

They found some good ones (and in my opinion, Wake Me Up Before You Go Go is the gayest of them all - why were we surprised about George Michael?), but I think that these fabulous vids deserve a mention too:

Boogie Wonderland by Earth, Wind and Fire (the guy in the white outfit cracks me up and the whole setup screams YMCA)

Word Up by Cameo (two words: Cod. Piece.)

And the ultimate gay anthem, It’s Raining Men!

And here’s Geri Halliwell’s scary cover version:

Is this the perfect reality-tv show? Appearing to be some kind of mashup of Joe Millionaire and The Farm, Dirty Cows features 10 city girls (they forgot me) competing in the countryside for the affections of Britain’s most eligible young farmer, Alexy Van Kimmenade. It’s going to get mucky!

Every time I see the advert I start to chuckle. I wish I could youtube it but I don’t have the equipment. Trust me, it’s funny.

The show is presented by former IT Girl, Tara Palmer Tomkinson, and it starts tomorrow evening on LivingTV.

UPDATE: Weekly episode reviews

UPDATE 2: Read my review of the show’s finale

Now I’m just waiting for Mariah Carey’s fragrance ad to come out. Apparently the perfume smells like marshmellows…

I’ll tell you why tomorrow.

Went back to that cafe for lunch. While I was tucking into some spicy chicken and rice a young Chinese woman entered the cafe to sell pirate DVDs.

Dirk called her over to his table (he was eating his own lunch) and browsed her wares. “Do you have any sexy ones?” he asked. She didn’t understand his question and looked at him quizzically. He asked her again a couple more times; eventually she understood and took out at least 50 porn DVDs.

He looked through the pile then asked her if any of the girls looked like me (while pointing at me)! Everyone in the cafe laughed, and I told him to shut up. He repeated the question a few more times, and I asked him if he wanted me to become a porn star! The silly twit just grinned at me. Then he haggled with the dealer to get 5 DVDs for £10 (instead of 3 for £10).

After she left we all somehow got onto the subject of Bruce Lee and ended up watching Enter the Dragon on the telly in the corner. I impressed the guys from the Thai restaurant next door with my knowledge of Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Sammo Hung, Zhang Ziyi, Michelle Yeoh, and Tony Jaa. It was fun.

Then I went back to work.