Inner Beauty
Tuesday, April 1st, 2008
My favourite singer, Mariah Carey, arrived at Mayfair at 2.30am this morning and greeted a large crowd of adoring fans.
The eccentric diva was wearing just a black bin liner under her jacket, and clutched a copy of the Big Issue magazine, which she’d purchased from a homeless man outside Selfridges.
When asked about her unusual outfit, she told reporters:
“Looks aren’t important, it’s what’s inside that counts. My job is to sing, not to be a sex object. The music business is so superficial, and I’m using my position to take a stand against it.”
Good on ya, girl! 
9:15 am on 2-Apr-08
Now there’s an April Fool’s!
Nice one PJ
Her latest single is the most anaemic pile of simpering, sub-Quiet Storm wank I have heard since… God knows when. She’s one of my all-time favourite vocalists but I’ve gone right off her lately. I’m sure she’ll be devastated to know this.
3:47 pm on 2-Apr-08
Thanks, CB! I wasn’t sure if anyone would pick up on this joke of mine. She’s so fixated on her breasts that no one else seems to matter in her universe. I agree that her latest single is utter pap, and it’s #1 in the Billboard charts right now – why?? She’s definitely gone off the boil in recent years.
8:32 pm on 2-Apr-08
Oh PJ, you had me at ‘favourite singer’
I think her breasts should release an album – couldn’t be any worse than her current output!
10:20 pm on 2-Apr-08
Actually, I wasn’t totally kidding about her being one of my favourite vocalists. Vocally, her technique is amazing, and I loved her music in the 90s. I was in the 2nd row at Wembley when she was there in 2003, and if she does another concert here I’d probably go again. Nowadays though, I’m not really into a lot of the bland pop/rnb stuff she brings out, as I know that she’s capable of so much better. She needs to focus on the love songs which made her famous, instead of letting Alicia Keys, etc. take over that market.
8:34 am on 4-Apr-08
I had a feeling you weren’t kidding, but I could feel the sarcasm to follow
That’s the sad thing – she could be doing so much better stuff. Singing about YouTube is pathetic. She’s easily one of the best singers of the last 20 years. Roll on the next album… in which she remembers that she’s a grown woman with a wealth of talent and experience. Frustrating!
10:54 pm on 10-Apr-08
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