Hello Urban Recluse readers! My name is Monty the Monkey, and you may remember me from recent blog posts like FREE MONKEY.

My mama PJ took me with her to watch a couple of movies the other day, and she said that I could write about them here as long I make sure to only fling my feces in the toilet (instead of in her work shoes). We agreed that it was a reasonable deal.

Hitman is a movie about a trained assassin called Agent 47 (played by Timothy Olyphant). From childhood he was raised by a secret organisation, who taught him to kick supreme ass.

Agent 47 gets drawn into a conspiracy, and the only person he can trust is the gorgeous whore Nika Boronina (Olga Kurylenko).

There’s also a brief appearance by Henry Ian Cusick (Desmond from Lost), who plays a Russian crimelord.

Hitman is based on a video game, and it shows. I mean that in the best possible sense. During a couple of the shootout scenes the viewer is continually following Agent 47 from behind as he attacks SWAT teams and other targets, which felt like being in an arcade with a plastic gun between your paws.

There was also a brief tribute to the original game when during a shootout Agent 47 entered into a hotel room where a young couple were playing it on their game console.

Overall, it was a decent movie. At times it felt like a poor man’s Bourne Identity, but there was certainly enough action and excitement to pass the time.

Agent 47 was an enigmatic character, and in his burgeoning affection for Nika he showed the remnants of his humanity. However, being a red-blooded monkey I wondered how he could resist the charms of the delectable Nika. I mean, when the organisation tattooed the back of his head did it also take away his mojo?

And speaking of mojo, Nika was more than enough woman for this simian. The scene where she appeared topless was glorious (as hot as Halle Berry’s bosom flash in Swordfish, but I digress…) Nika was like a stray cat that the hitman had picked up off the streets, and it was heartening to see their relationship develop during the movie.

Monty’s Rating:

Written by Monty | Posted in movies

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