Left the TV on the SciFi channel after Heroes while looking for holiday flip-flops online.

Now I seem to be watching a film starring a bearded Dean Cain (of Lois and Clarke fame) and Joanna Taylor (from diabolical UK Teen soap Hollyoaks)… I haven’t paid much attention to the plot (something about saving the world, the usual action fare). Still there was a sexy shower scene to keep me from changing the channel.

I’m going to switch off and go to bed, but I think I know how it’s going to end…

I often said to myself that going to Dirk’s cafe was like walking into an episode of Eastenders, only set in South London. There were the gruff old men with hearts of gold hidden beneath their rough exteriors, a wise old woman who is sharper than she looks, a guy with a limp, a family business and a lecherous married git. I’m not eighteen anymore, so why did I think I was playing the role of Stacey, getting mixed up with a married bloke who had no respect for me other than as a sex object?

I haven’t blogged about this for ages, and my regular readers may have thought that I’d come to my senses and stayed away from Dirk, as I’d intended. If only.

We have shared two more interludes, but we did NOT shag. Of course he wanted to. Part of me wanted to get him out of my system, and the other part of me just enjoyed the attention of an attractive man. There was no chance of us having a relationship, for not only did he have no intention of leaving his wife, but there were no common interests between us except that of the physical. As I said to Veg the other day, this was no meeting of the minds.

And yet, it is over. And I’m glad. My only regret is that I didn’t end it before. My dear reader, you may ask, why should I believe her now, she obviously can’t keep her grubby hands off him? Well, he has succeeding in offending me, which is quite a feat if you know me at all.

Basically I saw him on Friday at lunchtime. He said that he hadn’t been as persistent with me recently as he wanted to “get to know me”. Fair enough I thought, though I hadn’t noticed much change in his predatory behaviour. Then he went on to say that he felt that he didn’t know me so well and claimed to be wondering whether I could have some sort of Sexually Transmitted Disease! Then he said that he thought that I might shag for England in Jamaica, and that he was concerned for me! Such knobbery – if he doesn’t want a STD I’d be happy to cut it off for him!

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I’m glad to say that I have another suitor waiting in the wings. He reads this blog sometimes and it’s early days in our friendship, so I won’t embarrass him, but is a lovely guy who I admire so much. Watch this space!

I neglected to review the Ohmibod music vibrator which I mentioned a while ago, so for any interested parties, I’ll say that it does the job nicely…

The only thing I’d say is that the music vibration mode is more of a novelty feature, as the necessary wires are a bit cumbersome. It is rather funny though, and would be ideal for Ann Summers-type sex toy extravaganzas. My limited experiments have shown that guitar and sax riffs are best translated into vibration by the device. Please note that there is a non-music option for just getting down to business without all that jazz.

Urban Recluse Rating:

Welcome back to the hottest Sunday night event around!

Saucy quote: All a writer has to do to get a woman is to say he’s a writer. It’s an aphrodisiac.” Saul Bellow

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A different kind of SS tonight, featuring some sexy adverts which I hope you’ll enjoy. We all know that sex sells…

Here’s the one for Aero featuring Jason Lewis, who played Smith in SATC, which I’d originally posted on Thursday.

J’adore Charlize Theron whether clothed or nude.

Hilary Swank for Guerlain – also advertising perfume in the nude. I love the look she gives the camera when the music pauses.

Magnum Ecuadorian Dark. Featuring a strange chocolate-loving Amazonian female cult – can I join you gals?

Linx Aftershave (also called Axe in some countries). It reminds me of that Perfume film in a strange way…

And finally, this current ad for Linx (I love the psuedo-innocent look on the girl’s face as she puts the cotton wool back in her mouth)

As it’s my big brother’s birthday today, Mum and I drove down to his place to say hi. Mum did her mother hen thing, which was fine as Bruv was suffering from tonsilitis and needed a bit of fussing over.

Here’s some more observations which I made during the trips there and back. Sunday evening is a special time of the week, isn’t it?

1. A young Asian couple are giggling. The girl is sitting on top of the guy’s shoulders, her jean-clad legs dangling vertically over his torso.
2. A young black couple walk up the road with their arms around each other’s waist. The woman is wearing a pink top with black detailing.
3. A young white woman with short dark hair rides her bike alongside our car. The band of her bright pink thong rises above the waist band of her jeans.
4. A couple of mature African women walking down the street. They are wearing traditional outfits, complete with elaborate hats. One wears a green dress which is cut diagonally along her back to reveal her shoulders, the other, who is slightly slimmer wears a brownish ensemble.
5. A young brunette emerges from a mini-supermarket. She puts her two orange plastic bags down on the ground beside her then bends over to rearrange the contents. She stands straight again and adjusts her knickers through her pea-green skirt. Then she slips her hand under the skirt’s waistband and adjusts her undies again!
6. A white guy in a red t-shirt lies beneath an estate car on top of a sheet of cardboard. He doesn’t appear to be moving. As our car approaches he smiles and gets up.