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Check out this lovely lingerie from Madame V’s new collection (via The Lingerie Post)

With the aim of creating a more sexy and youthful uniform for its 14,750 policewomen, the Italian Interior Ministry now provide them with uncomfortable high heeled shoes. I guess they don’t expect their female police officers to get involved in the rough stuff… or do they?? (via Woman Tribune)

And more of that icky stuff at passiveaggressivenotes.com. Perhaps the site should be renamed PassiveAggressiveExcretions.com??

Toodles.

Now I’m just waiting for Mariah Carey’s fragrance ad to come out. Apparently the perfume smells like marshmellows…

I saw this sinful figurine on Gary Ham’s website, and had to share it with you all. Isn’t she heavenly? (lol)

About a week ago my mum and I went to Brussels for the day on the Eurostar. It was a follow-up to the trip we took there last summer for my mum’s birthday. Last time I paid for us to stay at the Marriott hotel for a few days, but this time she paid as I’m rather financially-challenged at the moment.

I prefer taking the Eurostar to flying. I’ve been thinking about going to Rome by an overnight train from Paris. It sounds more romantic to me, like taking the Orient Express.

Anyway, we got the train to Brussels. Then instead of taking the taxi to the centre of town we decided to have an adventure and take the tram. After a few confusing minutes of trying to find the toilet in the station, then figuring out which tram to take we finally were on our way. The trams moved very quickly so we had to hold on very tight to keep from falling over.

So we arrived at Bourse Beurs and found the main shopping road, with lots of clothes shops. We looked around for a while and bought some bits and pieces.

After a while we stopped at a nearby hotel restaurant. We both ordered the 2nd most expensive item on the menu, the small t-bone steak for 16 euros each.

Then on to more shopping. We enjoyed a waffle, some ice cream while people-watching in the square.

Soon it was time to make our way back to the Eurostar station, and then back to London.

When we got to Clapham Junction we were delayed for a while due to a broken-down train. A young guy asked us for money while we were waiting for our train, saying that he was hungry.
“I’m hungry too,” said my mum, sending him packing.

It was nice spending some quality time with my mum. And my wanderlust is stirring again.

I forgot to explain why my feet hurt yesterday. It was because I was trying out my new leather Rieker shoes that I’d purchased in Brussels last Thursday. I’m sure they’ll stretch in time. By the end of the evening I was limping a little.

And I haven’t blogged about Brussels yet, have I?

My first blog reader Lillian, has made an impassioned plea for assistance in looking for appropriate wedding favours, so I felt compelled to help. (I also like looking for stuff online, dunno why.)

While I was looking for a nice dress for Lillian I came across these dresses, which titillated me immensely. They were designed by a bloke called Ian Stuart, who seems to think that a bride is destined to end up in a barn with a dashing disrobed cowboy on her wedding day. I guess I can’t argue with that suggestion! (more…)

I haven’t blogged much about my life this week, so I thought I might catch you up on it.

I saw The Departed last week. It was brutal and harsh and amazing. All the cast were superb, especially Mark Wahlberg. The last ten minutes was rather shocking, and the eldery lady sitting next to me was visibly and audibly disturbed by all the mayhem on screen.

On Thursday I saw Becoming Jane, starring Anne Hathaway and James McAvoy. I found the film to be incredibly poignant, especially as an aspiring writer. I am of the opinion that a writer must experience life in order to write about it, and where experience ends the imagination begins. The film was beautifully filmed, with picturesque scenery and cinematography. Hathaway and McAvoy were both wonderful in their roles.

Last weekend I saw Aeon Flux on DVD. I knew that the film had received questionable reviews, but I like to make up my own mind (which is why I had to see Gigli!). Aeon Flux was like watching a fictionalised version of London Fashion Week, it was beautiful, but without substance. It could have been so much better than it was, and so many things were left unexplained. For instance, how did Aeon acquire her physical skills?

Last night I watched Constantine and Sin City on DVD. Constantine reminded me of Night Watch, the Russian supernatural movie which came out a couple of years ago. In both films the supernatural collides with urbanity, giving a gritty, sinister view of our world. Things unravelled slightly towards the end, but I enjoyed it overall.

Sin City was totally messed up! It was bizarre, twisted, gory, and unbelievable. Whores and the rough meatheads who love them; what a movie! My favourite character was the mysterious Miho, a girl who really knows how to kick (or chop up) ass!

Note to self: I need to see 300 right now!

I got a new mobile phone a few days ago. I’ve had my Samsung E820 for nearly 3 years now and it has served me well but it’s on its last legs now, so I replaced it with a Samsung U600. I like Samsung phones, they are reliable, user-friendly and hardy. I’m still getting used to the U600, but so far I like it. It has bluetooth, a 3.1 Megapixel camera, mp3 player and FM radio. The default screensaver is really nifty, it shows a picture of whichever location you’re in (so right now it is showing Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament), and it shows the time of day so right now it’s daytime in the pic but in the evening it will show nightime. When I get a text message fireworks appear!

Before I saw Becoming Jane on Thursday I visited the optician for an eye examination. If necessary I was ready to purchase a new pair of glasses as I have a health policy which contributes towards the cost of eye tests and glasses/contact lenses. The sales assistant was very polite, but I found myself becoming annoyed by her as she followed me around the room as I looked at frames, offering me glasses which didn’t suit me and calling me “dear”. When I made my choice she kept on adding costs on to it, beyond the amount I was willing to pay. For instance, she told me, “You can have an extra pair of glasses free of charge.”
“Ok, then.” Tallying up the figures in my head (£150 for 2 pairs -£80 from my policy and £30 voucher = £30 cost to me) I thought that was a good deal.
“We can give you a free tint on your extra pair so you can have prescription sunglasses.”
“Ok then.”
“But you’ll have to pay extra for a UV filter.”
“I see.”
“Do you work with computers?” I nodded. “Then you should also get xx filter on your glasses? It would be an extra forty pounds. And you’ll need it on the “free” pair.”
“Um, can I just pay for the eye test right now? I’ll come back and sort all this out later.”
“Ok dear.”
I scarpered like a bat out of hell.

Why pay £200+ for a pair of glasses, when I can get DNKY ones on the internet for £25! All you need to do is get the prescription details after the eye test then order it all online. I did it a year ago when I lost my glasses.

You know I thought that my monkey post would have been a bit more popular… just goes to show, there must be a whole community of anti-monkeyites out there that I didn’t know about…

I’ve been keeping myself occupied these last couple of days, Yesterday I went to the doctor and was encouraged to carry on taking Prozac as it’s not doing me any harm, and coming off it might cause me to relapse into my darkness again. (And you thought I was dark enough already.)

I haven’t mentioned this on here until now. I’ve been suffering from depression for years without seeking proper treatment for it, but I only sought treatment for it last spring. I tried to manage without meds for some time but I found myself unable to concentrate, stressed and miserable. My doc persuaded me to give Prozac a try. After a few weeks I found myself feeling very chilled, despite the fact that I was going through a very stressful time at work and at home. After a few more weeks I felt more “normal”, but also better able to focus. Prozac has definitely helped me in the last year, but I know that it’s not the best option for everyone. Part of me wants to come off it so I can regain some of my evil twisted edge.

After seeing the doctor I had to dash off to Croydon for my facial and massage. I love being pampered. Then in a luxurious haze I wandered around the area looking for a corset shop (just felt like it). I didn’t find the corset shop, but I did find a very cool goth shop called Time*Bomb. The guys there were really nice, and were also the owners of the corset shop, but had closed it down and incorporated the corsets into Time*Bomb. I’d love to get a proper corset one day for a Dita moment!

I also rejoined my old gym. It was a Holmes Place club, but had been taken over by Virgin. They gave me a good offer for the month, so I’m going to see how it goes. As I’ve got about 5 weeks until I go to Jamaica I felt like I needed a kick up the butt. I was also familiar with that gym so it felt easier than settling into a new place. I went back today and got a kick-ass program from one of their personal trainers.

Having not been to the gym for a while I had forgotten about those little things, like naked women in the changing rooms. Maybe if I were slimmer I would be more comfortable with nudity, but I’m slightly awkward about it. It feels silly to be trying to hide my bits under a towel (while simultaneously gyrating around on one foot as I pull up my trousers) when other women are proudly parading their nakedness nearby. I still remember the skinny woman I saw weighing herself in the nude last year…(why??) For her I imagined that there should be a new type of bathroom scales with only 3 results (no numbers):

• Just right, you sexy minx
• You need to lose a bit, love
• Put some more meat on your bones, girlfriend

Like a simpler version of the celebrity scales.

Who wouldn’t want one of those?

One last thing. I have a new/old addiction: stationery! I’ve got to stop buying fancy pens. I really do.

So I saw the Tempest at the theatre on Tuesday evening. Patrick Stewart was great, so expressive that he showed up the actress playing his daughter. She was strangely bland and lacklustre. There were some funny moments, but it dragged a bit after a while.

Yesterday I met up with Ahmed for a chat and a cup of tea. He asked me to write my ideal man wishlist. I told him that I’d already blogged about that, but he wanted to compare notes with me. I discovered that he wanted a man who was “loaded” with nice lips, a nice butt and plenty of ambition. He’s into that cosmic ordering malarkey so he’s going to wish for this man to materialise. We’ll see how that works out for him.

I bought this lush pen yesterday. It’s by Jordi Labanda, is in zebra print and has an Audrey Hepburn-esque logo on the lid.

And look at what the postman brought me today!

I’ll write a full review in a few days.