There’s a helicopter hovering overhead at the moment. I can see its lights from my bedroom window. I wonder what they’re looking for - this is a residential area… It’s been hovering here for a few minutes now and it’s pretty noisy.
My mum and I just joked with each other that the cops are looking for my dad - he hates the police with a passion.
My favourite singer, Mariah Carey, arrived at Mayfair at 2.30am this morning and greeted a large crowd of adoring fans.
The eccentric diva was wearing just a black bin liner under her jacket, and clutched a copy of the Big Issue magazine, which she’d purchased from a homeless man outside Selfridges.
When asked about her unusual outfit, she told reporters:
“Looks aren’t important, it’s what’s inside that counts. My job is to sing, not to be a sex object. The music business is so superficial, and I’m using my position to take a stand against it.”
Good on ya, girl! 
So you’re a famous movie star chilling out at home with your family. In the early hours you hear a strange noise and discover a strange naked man strutting around in your leather jacket.
You ask the intruder to remove the jacket, then escort him outside and leave him in the care of a security guard.
Robert Dennis Furo Jr. (45), a tailor, has pleaded not guilty to first-degree burglary. (via film.com)
Poor old Nick Cage.
We Brits are known for our propensity for queuing. There is a clear etiquette for queuing, which must be adhered to at all times in order to maintain decorum. Without decorum we would have anarchy!
Just think of what the Pub Landlord, Al Murray would say about where we’d be without rules!
So you’ll understand why I wasn’t amused when this guy pushed in front of me in Superdrug. There was no need for it so I called him up on it. “Excuse me,” I said, “I was here before you. It’s a bit cheeky to push in like that.”
He tried to say that he’d moved out of the line to look at something, but as far as I was concerned if you leave the line you forfeit your place (unless you ask someone who is waiting behind you to save your place), and he hadn’t. Then he apologised.
Score: Manners 1; Yobs 0
I wouldn’t tell anyone else to chastise someone as I did today because in the worst case it could lead to a physical alteration (queue rage). It can be a volatile situation. The previous time I did something similar I ended up swearing at the guy and nearly started a brawl in the train station!
When idiots ignore the principles of queuing, the Brit in me seethes inwardly or becomes a passive-aggressive nutter while the Jamaican in me wants to cuss and berate the offender. Which will win next time (for there will be a next time)? Come on people, behave yourselves for my sanity.
Further reading:
Standinaqueue
Why do the British queue so much?
Order, order
And a queue of pics, lining up for your attention:
