I’m not due back to work for a week. Ideally I would have liked to disappear somewhere for a few days, and I should be getting paid tomorrow, so we’ll see what I can manage.

I’m so glad to not be at work, my colleague is really getting on my nerves right now. She keeps on trying to manipulate me into supporting her mission against the rest of the organisation. When I express my own opinion on things she becomes patronising and rude, and I can’t stand it anymore. I just want to do my work and go home.

My phone alarm woke me up at 7.15 as I’d forgotten to turn it off. Then the postman woke me up at 10.30 to sign for a letter. I think I scared him with my hideous appearance; I’m not a morning person and I probably look like a real hag before noon.

It’s true what they say: If you want something done, ask a busy person. Two years ago I was that busy person, and I got so much done. Now I’m working part-time, and I can barely get out of the bed these days.

Time, like money, is a luxury, and like money it can be squandered unwisely. I’ve haven’t been to work for the past nine days, and my only real achievements during that time are watching Heroes Season 2 and a few eps of Weeds Season 2. I can’t be totally surprised as I didn’t have a plan. Without a plan it’s easy to succumb to the temptation of daytime television, random websites and calls from sailors instead of concentrating on moving forward with my life.

My birthday has become a time when I think about my life direction. Since my 25th birthday I’ve been stressing about my 30th. There’s still a part of me that feels that my life should be sorted by then, that I should have a flat and a creative career, regular holidays abroad and perhaps Daniel Craig as my naked butler. Is that too much to ask for?

My mother cruelly keeps on reminding me that I’m returning to work tomorrow. It’s going to be hell, but I can look forward to the weekend at least.

If I’d had some money I might have gone to Europe or even Scotland, but my credit card bill is still on my mind.

My mum has also been on holiday for the last two weeks, which has been a factor in my declining level of sanity.

Vid: We Gotta Get Out Of This Place by The Animals

I couldn’t sleep last night, due in part to the awful storm which invaded our shores in the early hours. I’m sure that my tiredness has contributed towards my grumpiness, but the fact still remains that my job sucks right now. I’m really starting to feel trapped here.

Vid: Working in a Coal Mine by Lee Dorsey

Yesterday my mum commented on my work situation, and I confirmed that I thinking over the options available to me right now. I said that I didn’t want to work in an office anymore, and she laughed at me as if that was my only career option. Then she said, ‘Why don’t you become a nurse?’

Yet another indication of how little my mother really gets me. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a nurse, but I don’t see myself in that kind of caretaking role. My grandma was a nurse before she retired, and she has told me many times how hard it was for her. The truth is that I’m not a selfless person in that way. Plus I’m very funny about icky stuff, especially other people’s icky stuff. I would be the most awful nurse on the planet.

I can say with a certainty that the only time that I might be seen in a nurse’s uniform would be – you know…

Do you ever feel like you’re the only sane in the village?

Or that you’re surrounded by morons?

Welcome to my universe. Roll on 6pm.

I can’t sleep. It’s nearly four am.

I know that I’ve neglected this blog recently, and it also feels like I’ve been neglecting myself too.

I’m really starting to dislike my job; every day it feels harder to drag myself there.

I don’t feel like my life is going to improve, like all I’ve got to look forward to is another 40-50 years of tedium. And yet there’s a tiny voice inside of me that believes that I can change my life for the better.

I constantly feel underestimated. I also feel that several people are taking advantage of me on a regular basis. It’s got to stop.

One of my issues is that I often let people get away with a certain amount before I make a fuss. I hate to create conflict, so I end up leaving it until all that bottled-up resentment erupts from deep inside of me.

I feel like I’m always doing favours for other people, but rarely does anyone help me when I need a hand. People will take and take and take and not think about my feelings or needs.

I’ve started to realise that I want to be self-employed. I want to be my own boss. Administration is a very humbling occupation; not only do you have to manage your own workload, but you often have to foresee and sort out problems caused by other people, usually without broadcasting that you’ve saved the day (yet again).

I often feel patronised by people who seem to think I’m an idiot because I’m "only" a receptionist-cum-secretary-cum-PA-cum-general dogsbody. Sometimes the smugness from certain people drives me into a secret rage. I also feel annoyed when people who seem to be chronically disorganised mess up my workload with last-minute tasks which they should have told me about earlier.

Administrators are the invisible heroes in every industry; as someone said to me recently: Administration only attracts attention when it’s not working properly. If you come into contact with an Administrator, treat them with respect – they really deserve it.

I’ve worked in Admin since 2002, and before that I worked in retail/customer service. I think it’s time for me to move on.