Pinched from Wordtryst

1. Where is your cell phone? Desk
2. Where is your significant other? Absent
3. Your hair colour? Black
4. Your mother? Strong
5. Your father? Quiet
6. Your favourite thing? Light
7. Your dream last night? Dunno
8. Your dream/goal? Novel
9. The room you’re in? Bedroom
10. Your hobby? Observation
11. Your fear? Misunderstanding
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Canada
13. Where were you last night? Here
14. What you’re not? Bored
15. One of your wish-list items? Holiday
16. Where you grew up? London
17. The last thing you did? Learn
18. What are you wearing? Nightie
19. Your TV? Mute
20. Your pets? None
21. Your computer? Mac
22. Your mood? Calm
23. Missing someone? No
24. Your car? None
25. Something you’re not wearing? Trousers
26. Favourite store? Tesco
27. Your summer? Away
28. Love someone? Once
29. Your favourite colour? Grey
30. When is the last time you laughed? Yesterday
31. Last time you cried? Sunday

Apply before bedtime and wake up a new person.

Give Pfizer some competition; create your own drug (via Book of Joe)

When I read a newspaper I’ll often read the “Lonely Hearts” or Personal Ads column, not because I’m planning to answer an advert, but because they are quite a fun read. It’s interesting to note how specific or non-specific the descriptions are; whilst some of the advertisers are open to any possibility, others are quite clear about the size, race, interests and temperament of their imagined soulmate. It’s also intriguing that the internet dating scene hasn’t made this concept obsolete.

A fun game to play is to match up pairs of compatible ads. For instance, the attractive, young-at-heart 60 year old woman who is looking for a caring man aged 58-65, has several matches in the male ads. She doesn’t mention her size, so I’m going to eliminate Richard (59) who has requested a slim woman. I’ve got a few other possible options, but I like the sound of the “Outgoing widower, 62, likes walks, nights in, GSOH, seeks caring female for friendship/relationship.”

I bet that this guy has received loads of responses:

Short, fat, thick, spotty, ugly, unemployed single dad, early 40′s, good for nothing, seeks slim, busty, rich bird to cheat on.

And his match? Possibly the “Busty, blue eyed blonde, seeking special man who can show her a good time and make her smile again.”

And just to prove that there’s someone for everyone:

Hirsute female, no make up, any age or nationality, sought by French male, 48, educated, unconventional, for relationship.

If I were to write one of these ads I’d probably say: “Urban Recluse seeks a kind companion with a GSOH for fun and adventure.” I think that says it all, don’t you? What kind of ad would you write?

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Ladies, those randy builders who call out lascivious comments to you as you stroll past their building site are fantasizing about doing this to you. Scary, no?

Woman Stripped by Mechanical Shovel – Watch more free videos