A couple of weeks ago I went to see Get Smart with a friend. About 30 minutes into the movie, the screen went black, the lights came on and an ominous voice told us that there was an emergency in the building and we had to leave immediately.
Down and down countless flights of stairs until we reached street level. As we were ejected into the street we felt the rain on our faces and felt even more wretched, until we noticed the people from the gym next door who’d had to evacuate the building in their workout clothes, or with just a swimming costume and towels to protect their modesty.
So we waited around with more than hundred others for perhaps half an hour, while firemen came and checked out the reported gas leak. Then we were allowed back in, but some nice person had decided to continue our movie before we were able to enter the screen. I don’t think we missed more than about 5 minutes, but it was a bit rude. Then we sat back down and watched the rest of the movie. As we left the screen we were given free tickets to see another film. I had already booked my late-night viewing of Hell Boy 2 later that evening, so I just slipped it into my purse and wondered which film I would use it on.
I hadn’t heard great reviews of Babylon A.D., (indeed its rating on Rotten Tomatoes is only 7%), but I guess I was in the mood for a silly action movie, and it was free.
Vin Diesel plays Toorop, a mercenary based in Eastern Europe in a post-apocalyptic scenario. He takes on the job of conveying a package to the USA, a package which turns out to be a beautiful young woman called Aurora (Mélanie Thierry). Aurora grew up in a convent, and is to be accompanied by Sister Rebeka, a nun played by Michelle Yeoh. Toorop is unconcerned by the nature of the package; his only concern is completing the job so he can enter the United States again (he was banned for being branded a terrorist). During their journey we discover that Aurora is not quite your average girl. There was also some stuff about a deadly virus, an evil cult, immaculate conception and artificial intelligence, but by that time my brain had mostly switched off, and I couldn’t get my head around it all.
Anyway, the plot wasn’t really important in this movie. Neither was the acting. Vin Diesel played nearly the same guy we’ve seen in XXX, The Fast and The Furious, and The Riddick movies. You know, the tough, disillusioned guy who doesn’t trust anyone.
Michelle Yeoh didn’t have much of a character to work with, though I liked her line: “I can defend myself.” Mélanie Thierry, with her wide-set eyes and sensual mouth, looked as angelic as her character should have been. I enjoyed Gerard Depardieu’s brief appearance as Gorsky, the guy who hired Toorop for the job.
What really set this movie apart for me was its visual excellence. The contrast between the dreadful poverty in Eastern Europe, and the modernity of the USA was striking. The landscapes were amazing too. I enjoyed the scenes when the submarine broke through the ice, the snowmobile fight against the flying drones, and the following clip which shows some impressive Parkour moves from the people who try to abduct Aurora in the nightclub.
I also liked the cut which dissected the wings of the beast tattooed into Diesel’s back (you can see it in one of the above pics), and the line of snow which slowly descended from a railing in the background of a chase scene.
Apparently the director, Mathieu Kassovitz, was very unhappy with the 70 minutes cut from the movie by the studio and apparently has called the final movie “pure violence and stupidity.” I wonder if a director’s cut will be released for the DVD, and whether it might bring some needed coherence to this movie.
Ever since I saw the trailer for RocknRolla in the cinema a few weeks ago I’ve been looking forward to seeing the movie. The reviews have been mixed, but I like the idea of Guy Ritchie returning to what he does best: the British gangster movie.
Plus Gerard Butler shows his abs.
So I’m planning to watch it over the weekend. It’s something to look forward to.
Casablanca
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial
The Wizard of Oz
Star Wars
2) 5 movies on the list that you didn’t like at all:
The Graduate (I fell asleep during it)
On the Waterfront (I lost interest after a while)
Those were the only two I could find, and I probably just wasn’t in the right mind-space to appreciate them.
3) 5 movies on the list you haven’t seen but want to:
Psycho
Chinatown
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner
The Silence of the Lambs
Some Like It Hot
4) 5 movies on the list that you haven’t seen and have no interest in seeing:
Citizen Kane (actually after seeing this review I’m considering renting it)
Apocalypse Now
All Quiet on the Western Front
Yankee Doodle Dandy
Mutiny on the Bounty
5) Your favorite 5 movies that aren’t on the list:
Secretary
Little Miss Sunshine
Die Hard
The Matrix
Collateral
I’ve limited myself to American movies, in the spirit of the original list.
After six (mostly) serious nights we need to let loose and remember to laugh. I’m Gonna Git You Sucka is the first (and best) of the Wayans’ spoofs, which is a parody of blaxploitation movies. Check out this short clip of Antonio Fargas playing a pimp who has just left prison after 20 years, and hasn’t realised that the 70s are over:
I chose Anchorman as it’s a fun movie, but also because I’d love to see the frenzied newsteam battle on the big screen:
Real Women Have Curves is a really uplifting movie about a girl who is caught between wanting to live by the wishes of her family and wanting to find her own path. During the movie she learns about self-acceptance and romantic love, with the help of the women who work with her at the dress-making factory.
Kinky Boots is about a man who decides to save his family shoemaking business by creating shoewear for drag queens. Chiwetel Ejiofor is amazing as Lola/Simon, the drag queen who shows him the way. I dare you to watch this film and not want to boot up, whether you’re male or female!
Night Ten: Testosterone
Sometimes, when all else fails you have to bring the fight.
Predator is just the ultimate kickbutt movie; a team of commandos headed by Swarzenegger are hunted down by a bloodthirsty alien. At the end, only one man is left to face the predator…
Under Siege: A US battleship which is about to be decommissioned is taken over by terrorists. Only one man can stop them: Casey Ryback, a former Navy SEAL who is the ship’s chef… Classic Seagal.
Night Eleven: Bloodsuckas
I love vampire stories, so I had to have a vamp night.
From Dusk Til Dusk starts off with the focus on a couple of criminals and their abduction of a preacher and his family, then abruptly switches to glorious b-movie splendour as they are attacked by vampires. Here’s Salma Hayek’s seductive dance from the movie:
Blade is the daywalker, the half-human who has all of the strengths of a vampire, and none of the weaknesses, except for the thirst. I love the opening scenes when Blade enters a rave where the vamps are showered in blood, and I still remember how great this scene looked in the cinema way back in 1998:
Night Twelve: Indulgence
I never got to see Dirty Dancing or The Princess Bride at the cinema, as I was only seven years old when they were released. I’d love to relive them on the big screen, as they are a couple of my favourite movies ever.